No One Understands You: And What to Do About It, Heidi Grant Halvorson

(August 18) This book was recommended by Jezebel's Tracy Moore, whose teasers made it seem like the book would teach you that when you say “x,” people hear “y,” so say “z” instead to make sure you're understood.

There was a little bit of that, but the whole perspective of the book was from the other direction: it was about the lenses perceivers wear, and how to identify and offset these. This will help you avoid making a bad first impression or reduce any misperception you struggle against (mostly in the workplace it seems), plus show you how to reverse such situations.

So some of that is what most people do in life -- you figure out people around you and engineer your comments and intentions to work with them. But this is a much more in-depth version of that, helping you with people you have no way of interpreting otherwise.

Tracy Moore does offer a good summary.

Betsy-Tacy, Betsy and the Great World, and Betsy's Wedding, Maud Hart Lovelace

Émile Vernon, Best of Friends, 1917

(July 14, July 25, August 3) Got Betsy-Tacy out of the library because Mallory Ortberg was rhapsodizing about Betsy and the Great World and I realized I had read those books as a kid.... had read them and really loved them, because I can remember naming paper dolls and other “people” we had “Tacy” and “Tib”... and I just remember being really fond of the stories and nodding in approval whenever I saw societies and reading groups devoted to them.

Re-reading Betsy-Tacy was a bit of a shock -- I had to wonder how drab my life was at the time that I loved those stories so much: they are the plainest vanilla stories ever... sweet, but too young for anyone who can read for herself. The Bobbsey Twins books were way more inventive and absorbing it seems to me even now.

However, the grown-up Betsy books redeemed Maud Hart Lovelace for me. They are totally enjoyable. The two later books are not profound, and the plot lines are a little predictable… but Lovelace always puts a little twist into things that keeps them interesting.

They're sweet, like Anne of Green Gables books without literary pretensions, and they have that travel-to-a-different-time effect that I like…. full of strange daily activities and customs taken for granted then (early 1900s), completely forgotten now.

I’m missing them now…. wishing I had the outcome of a little luncheon party or a letter to Somebody Significant or such like to look forward to reading.

You Can Heal Your Life and Heal Your Body, Louise Hay

Bill Morrison (art director), "Godfellas" episode of Futurama, 2002

(July 6) You Can Heal Your Life contains Heal Your Body, as probably do most of Louise Hay’s books, which I didn’t realize till I bought both. :} But I don’t mind investing in a guru.

This does not contradict Abraham-Hicks thinking -- but it seems to offer different routes to finding feelings of happiness which are perfectly in keeping with A-H, yet different. More general, and more “your mind controls everything anyway”... A-H is more about reducing resistance (although they do recommend fantasizing everything into place)... well, whatever… they are different, but mutually inclusive.

I think Hay even kind of answers the question of why there is the resistance… something that has always nagged at me and is still not perfectly clear as a context, even with Hay’s explanations of early deep-seated grudges. Why do we go for grudge-bearing?

It’s like A-H, her thinking, but it’s a little more woo-woo somehow. It’s definitely complementary, though. It’s like: A-H tells you to get rid of resistance, but Hay knows exactly what your resistance is and gives you a way to get rid of it permanently.

She has definitely focused on physical health more than anything and I thought at first she was appealing a little more directly to the victim point of view… but I realize from reading her that I do have a victim point of view, to my surprise.

How did I come to this book? I saw the movie enthusiastically recommended by a trusted blogger and got it out of the library (had to wait a long while since it was in heavy demand). The movie made me want to read her books, and I bought them, I was in such a hurry.

[The episode of Futurama illustrated above contained a godhead figure who was the wisest, most benevolent godhead figure you could ever imagine.]

No One Belongs Here More Than You, Miranda July

Tina Mammoser, Intertidal, 2014

(June 22) Funny -- I heh-heh’d aloud throughout as I did through the novel (The First Bad Man).

So interesting -- many of the same themes as TFBM -- love, female identity, language jokes: “the dynamic had moved down the block and was serving others” is one of many, many, funny little metaphors… I could quote every page.

The First Bad Man, Miranda July

Miranda July, from Kids Activity Pages for Apartamento Magazine, 2011

(April 20) I loved this book. I laughed helplessly on every page.

It’s all crazy and improbable stuff but it’s, like, that never matters, fundamentally.

Trying Not to Try: The Art and Science of Spontaneity, Edward Slingerland

Woman Playing Polo, 8th C. CE

(April 3) Really liked this subject, wu-wei and de -- basically, Taoism (Daoism?) compared and contrasted with other ancient Eastern philosophies.

It is styled to be about the modern desire to "get in the groove," an angle that feels like it was foisted on Slingerland by his editors so that this otherwise scholarly / academic study would appeal to a lay public (I always resent it that these topics are not considered interesting enough their own, and resent it almost as much that the imposed "hook" never gets full shrift either).

Got the title from the Utne Reader e-newsletter .

I was interested because all I had ever heard about Eastern thought beyond the clichés of Chinese aphorisms was in those Xena episodes where she falls in love with Lao Tze's wife, who was the real author of the Tao texts (lol). Loved those episodes and always swore I'd read more about this mystical power the Tao texts seemed to have for Xena.

Despite this interest, the book's briefness and Slingerland's very readable style, I took forever to get through this -- had to renew it twice (the maximum at the time).

The A-H index: sometimes it supported Abraham-Hicks thinking; sometimes it didn't.

Hot and cold cognition were fascinating concepts at the time, but now, lo, these two years later, I can't remember a thing about them.

Paper Towns, John Green

Eoin, Endlessly Slipping, 2013

(February 19) I wanted to read Paper Towns because I enjoyed The Fault in Our Stars so much. This seemed slow at first, perhaps because TFiOS was so great and started off so grippingly right from the beginning, and I was maybe worried that this was going to fall A LOT short if it didn't get right down to business.

I also gave it a little side-eye at first because it felt like Green was doing a Manic Pixie Dream Girl story, but then it got very good with a well-done plot point and the story became quite suspenseful. At that point it seemed superior to TFiOS.

It features many, many interesting literary allusions and tropes and many profound insights into how we see and don't see ourselves and each other, and I enjoyed all this very much. Like TFiOS, Paper Towns somehow interweaves literary / philosophical references with down-in-the-dirt teenage crudeness, creating a nice combo of comic lows and lofty, intellectual highs.

The resolution, though? :/ I thought it kind of undermined the suspense that was so beautifully built… and it got too mushy right at the end -- this causes it to lose some power.

So I'm reading along like this… just loving Paper Towns and thinking I'm going to give it 3.5 stars… and then I read some online reviews, to see if anyone else was disappointed like I was by the ending… and I get lost in the vortex of the_whittler’s trenchant observations… and I begin to hate John Green and both his books…

Never experienced such a 180 about a book in my life.

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, Michael A. Singer

J.M.W. Turner, The Morning After the Deluge, ca. 1843

(January 31) I am untethered re The Untethered Soul -- I read it 22 months ago and cannot remember a thing about it, and when I read my notes on it they spark nothing.

I read it because Jennifer Scott, the Madame Chic author who captured a bit of my fancy back in 2015, scheduled it as a “virtual book club” read. I hadn’t heard of it before but I always like to sample "spiritual books" to see if they jive with or contradict Abraham-Hicks stuff. And so off I went. I may even have purchased this one.

It definitely jived with Abraham-Hicks and maybe promises even more than A-H does.But none of it has stuck with me.

The Handsome Man's De Luxe Café, Alexander McCall Smith

Peter Clarke, Fish and Wine, late 20th C.

(December 21) Interesting and likable as always… it’s the first of this series imho that could pass easily for an Isabel Dalhousie set of situations… that is, the stories are not mysteries so much as peeks into troubled lives, some of which get sorted out. Mma Potokwane is a substantial deus ex machina in this one.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), Mindy Kaling

Aurora Starita, Mindy Kaling, 2012

(December 18)

Dear Mindy Kaling,

I love your book and I wish to ask you for its hand in marriage.

Sincerely, Susan W.

The Lost Art of Dress: The Women Who Once Made America Stylish, Linda Przybyszewski

(December 4) Read this because it was mentioned on Erin McKean’s A Dress a Day and sounded interesting.

McKean described it thusly:

"The Lost Art of Dress is a history of (and paean to) the women who invented the field of home economics, and who taught hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of women how to dress beautifully, healthfully, economically, and practically during most of the twentieth century, only falling out of favor during the youthquake movement of the 1960s. Przybyszewski calls them the 'Dress Doctors' and outlines how they used principles from art to guide women’s dress choices.

"It’s a fascinating read, and whether or not you agree with the premise of the book (that women today are largely not stylish because they have abandoned these classic principles of color harmony, symmetry, and graceful line) it’s certain that you’ll enjoy the vast amount of largely forgotten and entirely charming advice the Dress Doctors gave their 'patients.' For instance, women were advised that, when traveling, they should remain efficient and anonymous by choosing 'no emotional colors, no revelatory designs, or fabrics, no temperamental hats or shoes.'" 

This description is what made me want to read the book, but I didn’t find the premise of the book to be about stylishness -- I found The Lost Art of Dress to be a feminist tract and I floved it for that reason.

This statement on page 148 is the whole story in a nutshell:

“The sewing demonstrations and clothing clubs organized by extension work made a difference in women’s lives.”

It’s a great read if you don’t mind getting angry all over again about the marginalizing of women through every means available throughout all of history.

In fact, it was so incensing it made me wonder: Was Przybyszewski hyping the feminist angle or was it undeniable?

And then all that righteous indignation is offset by outfit judginess, which is always fun to read for its own sake, but a totally different philosophical register. Near the end is a section of advice for dressing as an older lady.

To sum up: surprising and sometimes strange, but very interesting.

Mentioned and made me want to read Art in Everyday Life by Harriet and Vetta Goldstein.

Landline, Rainbow Rowell

Levon Avagyan, Girl with a Phone, 2014

(November 4) Loved it -- she is so funny -- such good one-liners, in a TV-sitcom way.

There’s always one technology-related linchpin in a Rainbow Rowell novel -- Walkmans, laptops, e-mail, fanfic environments, etc. -- and now cell phones vs. landlines.

There’s a kind of cute magic-realism flavour to this one, too, unlike any of the others, with the old-fashioned landline phone serving as a time-travel device in an interesting way.

I enjoy Rowell’s writing. My only problem now is that I’ve read four of her books, and they’re all love stories. And none of those love stories will ever be as epic as Eleanor and Park. Sigh.

Quotes:

Georgie's mother had spectacular cleavage. Tan, freckled, ten miles deep.

"Genetics," her mom said when she caught Georgie looking.

Heather shoved a bowl of green beans into Georgie's arm. "Were you just staring at Mom's breasts?"

"I think so," Georgie said. "I'm really tired--and she's kinda begging for it in that shirt."

"Oh, sure," Heather said. "Blame the victim.”

“Right.” Neal nodded. “The network guy. I thought he was giving you the cold shoulder.” “We thought he was giving us the cold shoulder,” Georgie said. “Apparently he just has cold shoulders.”

And why was she only attracted to guys who were sleeping with somebody else?

If Georgie were a wild animal, she'd be a genetic dead end. 

What if Georgie could give Neal the chance to start over? What would he do?

Would he join the Peace Corps? Would he go back to Omaha? Marry Dawn? Marry someone even better than Dawn?

Would he be happy?

Would he come home from work every night, smiling? Would Dawn or Better-Than-Dawn already have dinner on the table?

I Feel Bad About My Neck, and Other Thoughts on Being a Woman, Nora Ephron

Gustav Klimt, Judith and Holofernes, 1901-02

(October 6) Really, really liked this -- in addition to frequently laughing out loud while reading, I really related to what Ephron says and how she thinks. I see old-ladyhood the same way.

The FastDiet: Lose Weight, Stay Healthy, and Live Longer with the Simple Secret of Intermittent Fasting, Michael Mosley and Mimi Spencer

Mary Pratt, Sun Slanting Over Breakfast, 2005

(August 31, 2014) Heard of this through Imogen Lamport's Inside Out Style blog: she had lost a lot of weight by way of a fasting diet featured in a BBC documentary... I watched the whole thing, intrigued by Michael Mosley's real quest, which was to find ways to increase longevity.

According to this research, a little bit of fasting, even the minor amount you do through Mosley's 5:2 diet -- is apparently enough to unleash all kinds of health benefits: so many studies show fasting increases longevity, reduces levels of a hormone called IGF-1 (insulin-like growth factor 1) which burns you out young, "switches on" gene-repair processes, improves insulin resistance, improves metabolism, reduces blood glucose levels, mitigates against cancer, reduces bad cholesterol, etc., etc., etc.

By the time I was done the book, I felt like I couldn't NOT fast.

Attachments, Rainbow Rowell

Nick Gentry, Lander, 2010

(July 27) At least 3 stars, because I really liked it and really looked forward to getting back to it in between readings (unlike some other recent books that I shall leave nameless).

But I found with this book -- and with other Rowell books -- and maybe with all books????? -- that the premise starts out at a leisurely pace with lots of detail and complication, and then the problem(s) get(s) solved lickety-split and without the tender care that the set-up got. Or, at least in this book, the climax did not seem as special as the storylines leading up to it.

I really like in all her books how there is some kind of cultural anchor to real time… and usually a technological one, too… this one had the Y2K issue, which is hilarious, kind of. Fangirl had Harry Potter fandom and the ubiquity of laptops; Eleanor and Park had punk and Walkmans; this one has late '90s romcoms and Y2K.

But she is a wizard when it comes to hilarious dialogue.

p. 84: When Lincoln realized he was rewriting the theme song to Cheers, he decided to stop thinking and just play.

p. 94: I don’t even go to the adult Gap anymore. Once you’re an imaginary mother, it’s hard to take time for yourself. 

The premise was so, so good, but Rowell didn't want to make the ejected boyfriend unlikable (I guess), because he does nothing unlikable and yet none of the characters in the novel like him. He’s too cute, too immature, too much a musician? See, these are all reasons to like a fella. And he’s totally unrealistic for telling Beth straight out that he was never going to marry her, especially since he wasn’t under any pressure to set that record straight. A guy like him (immature and maybe irresponsible??) would not want to rock his happily sailing boat, I would think… would lie about his intentions… would try to keep the girlfriend hoping.

I don’t enjoy Rowell’s making-out scenes so much. Her style with these worked with Eleanor and Park, but doesn't seem quite right with late-20s people.

The label “enjoyable light read” was made for this book.

Eleanor & Park, Rainbow Rowell

Gun Legler, Redhead, 2012

(June 26)  I really liked it; have been liking all her books since Fangirl; this has a sweet love story and a kind of looming tension that is the unusual twist in the love story format. Ending is a bit strange, mebbe.

Finding the Dragon Lady: The Mystery of Vietnam's Madame Nhu, Monique Brinson Demery

Milton Caniff, The Dragon Lady from Terry and the Pirates (1937-48)

(August 5) This took me ages to read. Only 225 pages, but it took months.

 I put a library request in for it when I saw the author interviewed on The Daily Show. The story sounded fascinating!

But I quickly moved into this reviewer’s camp: “Promising in the beginning, the narrative is frustratingly repetitive and shallow. It's the story of an author’s frustration at being led on, told by leading the reader on. There's a compelling, fascinating, dramatic story to be told, it's unfortunate that Ms. Demery is unable to tell it.”

Many positive reviews say that they were pleased to learn more about the Vietnam War, and I did learn more about the Vietnam War, but that is kind of going to happen by default with this topic, I would think; and I thought Demery was repetitive even with the war information. The same coup was described at least three different times, with expanded detail each time, and each time as if we hadn’t covered that incident yet.

It all just felt so padded.

Fangirl, Rainbow Rowell

Elizabeth Jaeger, BFF, 2009

(April 18) Teen books are the best books!

Sigh! I quite enjoyed this book for the witty dialogue, and that's what makes you want to read, to “hang out” with these people, more than a driving plot or any such thing.

The “plot” is a coming-of-age, as usual for teen books, but this time it’s a young woman coming to terms with a mother rather than a young man with a father, and it’s a refreshing twist.

Goofiest naming choice ever… “Cather” and “Wren” ::wa-wa:: ::rimshot::

And the fandom thing is well done. 

Loved: page 397: Well done, English language! 

Can’t remember where I got this -- I’m sure it was one of my blogs, possibly Lainey, but can't confirm. 

Want to read more Rowell, especially Eleanor and Park.

The Uncommon Appeal of Clouds, Alexander McCall Smith

Amelia Fais Harnas, Self-Portrait as Saint Pompette, No. 2, 2012 

(March 22) I was quite enjoying this -- there were some nice complicated problems lining themselves up for Isabel to solve, and so many interesting little questions:

- the stew decision at the pot luck dinner
- the unused china gift
- the woman with the port wine stain
- the no-cucumber-sandwiches visit
- the untrustworthiness of Duncan Marlowe (Isabel quite likes him, but he gets angry too easily and too often; it would be all too typical for Isabel to like him and then watch him turn out to be out a crook, because, as we know, Isabel is almost always dead wrong -- but I was so looking forward to the thwarting of the trust!)

And then, BANG, the book was suddenly over with a note to all the suspects claiming the mystery has been solved....

***
I wrote the above right after I read the book, followed by about another thousand words of high dudgeon berating Alexander McCall Smith and enumerating all my grievous disappointments in this book, along the lines of this review http://www.amazon.com/The-Uncommon-Appeal-Clouds-Dalhousie/product-reviews/0307949230?pageNumber=2 and many like it on Amazon.

Now, a year later, writing this up, I feel more forgiving and nostalgic about the book and about Alexander McCall Smith in general -- he is so entertaining, he has given me so many hours of entertainment... I am grateful for his every word.

The Minor Adjustment Beauty Salon, Alexander McCall Smith

Thama Kase (Thamae Kaashe), Different Snakes, 2013

(March 8) I never tire of these.

Throughout this one, I began to think “Violet Sephotho is getting a bit cartoony”... but I was wrong to think that… I should have trusted AMS. In fact, I fell into the very trap all the characters in this book plunge into -- jumping to a conclusion.

Great two-sentence scene: “The silence continued. One or two of the men shifted uncomfortably in their seats; others remained quite still, as one stays still in the presence of great danger, hoping that the source of the danger will not notice one.”

Lovely image: “They sat together on the verandah, watching the sun sink beneath the canopy of acacia that made the horizon. The sun was copper-red, a great ball, and it floated down so gently, as if to nudge us into the night, to let us take the garments of the dark about us slowly and deliberately, without haste and without fear.”

The love of Africa in these books always makes tears stream down my cheeks.

Did notice that the book ended rather abruptly after fairly leisurely build-ups to the climaxes in the various “mysteries.” The characters usually get to relish the confrontation scenes, but… well, maybe that’s why they’re being dialled back: we’ve seen that.